So, with that said, today my workout was 10 x 800's. For any non-runners, I ran a half mile with a rest period lasting as long as it took me to run the 800. The rest periods were approximately 3/10ths of a mile because I was barely moving for some of them.
I was nervous about this workout. I had a lot riding on the outcome. Am I fit? How fit am I? Can I really run that many repeats in the dark and not lose my mind? How would this go? So many questions filled my head and I let them get to me.
My goal time was 3:40 or better.
My actual times were 3:40, 3:35, 3:35, 3:39, 3:41, 3:39, 3:34, 3:41, 3:36, 3:40.
These are not the fastest 800's I have run, but this is most I have run. That thought was totally lost on me this morning when I felt like I was failing. I was miserable and battled for each and every 800 to be under 3:40. I was ready to quit after the first one. After two I started thinking I was 1/5 of the way finished. Wow! That is many more to go. After three it was I am 1/3 finished kind of. I barely made it to fine. I made a deal that I could do 7. That would be the most ever for me. I made it to seven, which was strangely my fastest. Then my thoughts were simply "Just one more". I made it to 10 and felt defeated.
How is it possible to feel defeated when I just did something successfully that I have never done before? It is possible because I wanted the splits to be faster! I was tired and feeling like something won besides me.
That kind of thinking will not get me across the finished line on marathon day. It just won't happen. I need to be mentally strong and I am just not. I spent 9 800's today screaming at myself in my head....
"you can do this"
"what is your problem...run!"
"I am in charge of this"
"don't be a baby"
And the list could go on and on! It took some reminding from my coach to help me realize I did a great thing today. I will benefit from today and I MUST give myself credit for my effort.
Just wanted to remind you of all that you have accomplished. I didn't want you to underestimate any aspect of the workout or the work you did.
I am pretty fit. The workout proved that. I could probably run a marathon tomorrow, but I won't be doing that! I have made great strides since I resumed running in August. I am winning this fitness battle....physically! If my head could now just get in the game and be willing to WIN!
You must do the thing you think you cannot do!