Me as a Mom

Five days a week I wake before my family and hit the road.  I run anywhere from 3-20 miles depending on my scheduled workout.  This time is for me.  I am Kortni when I run and only Kortni.  I think about running, my day, my family, my friends.  I pray for all those things and more.  I think about whatever I want to think about and it is all for ME!  This is the only time of day when I am really just me. 

When I get home I sometimes have a few extra moments to myself.  More than not someone is awake and I become MOM.  I am no longer just ME.  My role has changed and I have to think about other people and other people's needs most of the time before mine.  That is what mom's do.  At least that is what this mom does.  When I am in full on mom mode, my life is about other people and my things are definitely secondary.  But that does not mean I lose part of myself.

I keep reading all these blogs with women writing about maintaining who you are when you are a mom.  I just find all this baffling.  Losing who you are....how does that happen?  When I became a mom I felt more like me.  More of me felt complete.  And, me was not just me anymore.  I was a mom and that meant I was essentially two people.  Emma was part of me and was not separate from me.  Now that I am a mom to four people I feel like me plus four.  Emma, Jonah, Samuel, and Elena are with me and a part of me always.  I live and breathe for them.  But, I am also still ME.

Being me means that when I wake up in the morning, I will take care of me.  I will run.  I will shower.  I will get dressed in whatever I want to wear.  I will put on make up.  I will put my hair in a pony tail.  I will eat breakfast.  This stuff does not stop for me because I became a mom.  I make time for it because it is important to me.  If I do these things, I am a better mom because I feel good.  I take care of my other four so why would I not take care of me?  I just don't get it.

Maybe you have less time.  Yes, this is true, but make a new plan.  Still take care of you.  Maybe your little people need you. Teach them to help themselves.  Maybe they can't help themselves so then be creative.

Your children are a reflection of you.  They will act like you and talk like you even if you don't want them to.  You want to be proud of them.  Of course you will be proud of them.  Shouldn't they be proud of you.  They want the mom who looks cute most of the time or at the very least put together.  It is okay to take care of you. 

God did not give us our bodies to use and neglect.  He wants us to take care of us so we can do good works for him.  If you are a busy mom, that means God gave you little ones to raise.  You can't do that well if you are always last.

  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

Maybe this little pep talk will help me do my hair more and sport less pony tails!