Battling through the 800's

Let me begin by saying running is relative to the runner.  All my thoughts on running are only specific to me!  What I think is fast, or awesome, or hard, or crappy, or whatever is all about me and my running.  It is only about what I want to achieve, hope to achieve, or maybe did not achieve.  I think the same is true in real life too!

So, with that said, today my workout was 10 x 800's.  For any non-runners, I ran a half mile with a rest period lasting as long as it took me to run the 800.  The rest periods were approximately 3/10ths of a mile because I was barely moving for some of them.

I was nervous about this workout.  I had a lot riding on the outcome.  Am I fit?  How fit am I?  Can I really run that many repeats in the dark and not lose my mind?  How would this go? So many questions filled my head and I let them get to me. 

My goal time was 3:40 or better. 

My actual times were 3:40, 3:35, 3:35, 3:39, 3:41, 3:39, 3:34, 3:41, 3:36, 3:40.

These are not the fastest 800's I have run, but this is most I have run.  That thought was totally lost on me this morning when I felt like I was failing.  I was miserable and battled for each and every 800 to be under 3:40.  I was ready to quit after the first one.  After two I started thinking I was 1/5 of the way finished.  Wow!  That is many more to go.  After three it was I am 1/3 finished kind of.  I barely made it to fine.  I made a deal that I could do 7.  That would be the most ever for me.  I made it to seven, which was strangely my fastest.  Then my thoughts were simply "Just one more".  I made it to 10 and felt defeated.

How is it possible to feel defeated when I just did something successfully that I have never done before?  It is possible because I wanted the splits to be faster!  I was tired and feeling like something won besides me.

That kind of thinking will not get me across the finished line on marathon day.  It just won't happen. I need to be mentally strong and I am just not.  I spent 9 800's today screaming at myself in my head....

"you can do this"
"what is your problem...run!"
"I am in charge of this"
"Push"
"Finish"
"don't be a baby"

And the list could go on and on!  It took some reminding from my coach to help me realize I did a great thing today.  I will benefit from today and I MUST give myself credit for my effort. 

Just wanted to remind you of all that you have accomplished. I didn't want you to underestimate any aspect of the workout or the work you did.

I am pretty fit.  The workout proved that.  I could probably run a marathon tomorrow, but I won't be doing that!  I have made great strides since I resumed running in August.  I am winning this fitness battle....physically!  If my head could now just get in the game and be willing to WIN!

You must do the thing you think you cannot do!

Eleanor Roosevelt

Smart Lady!!