Blowing up my Marathon Plan

I am less than four weeks from running my second marathon.  A marathon that I started training for in August and have worked really hard to improve my time.  A marathon that I am actually really excited to run.  A marathon that holds big dreams for me.  So, why am I blowing up my plan this close to the race? 

I started to feel sick on Monday.  Each day I felt a little worse or had a new symptom or both.  After I developed a fever on Thursday I decided a trip to the doctor was needed.  Now I am on antibiotics and the new symptoms just keep on coming.  It is like a train wreck repeating itself each day.  I could not be more frustrated my seeming inability to get well or even slightly better.

I was supposed to have a light running week last week with only 36 scheduled miles.  I ran 10.5 of them and they were all gut wrenching hard.  Today was the worst.  I decided to try to run maybe 6.  I was feeling slightly better when I went to bed last night and I honestly wanted to run this morning.  Well, my mind was willing, but my body had other plans.  It was a horrible run.  Mentally it did nothing except damage my self-confidence.  Physically I barely survived. 

Less than 4 weeks to go and I missed 25 miles of training and two speed sessions.  This week I am supposed to run 50 miles with a half marathon on Sunday.  That half is one week from today.  It was supposed to be a huge PR race for me.  I love the course very much and until now have felt crazy prepared to run.  Now, I don't think I will run. 

The timing of this could only be worse if it was closer to the marathon.  I know I still have time to pull it together, but my doubts grow with each day that I don't feel well.  Seriously, feeling off and flat out sick for a week is not normal for me.  

I totally believe that things happen for a reason.  Life is about lessons and learning.  So, perhaps I need to slow down and rest more.  Maybe that is the lesson I am to learn from this ridiculous extended illness.  I just know it can't have anything to do with running....please no!!

All I know is I really want to feel ready to run on Tuesday.  It is possible!

I also should say that Drew was awesome helping me complete all my weekend obligations at church. They were non-negotiable and I could not have done it without his help.  We received lots of compliments today on the "forest scene" in the sanctuary.  Whew....I am glad it was well received.  I have had no voice since yesterday morning and Emma has been my "mom" voice.  She loves speaking for me.  I don't think her brothers are enjoying it quite as much!  Today Elena told me to stop being quiet because no one was sleeping.  If only it was that simple dear girl!

But, the entire week was not lost.  I did go to an amazing Andrea Bocelli and Katherine Jenkins concert with my mom.  Thank goodness it was Wednesday night or I would have been too sick to go.

We had to say good-bye to Mammy/Mom on Thursday.  I am glad I was healthy enough to have fun while she was here; however, it would have been great for her to take care of me!

Tonight, the church madness culminated with the annual Advent Celebration.  The kids love it.  I like it.  We did make some fun things to enjoy this Advent Season.  And, we went on a hayride albeit through a parking lot.  We do live in the city and it counted in the kids' minds.

So, as we start a new week, people please pray for my health and my sanity.  I am in need of both to return!